Reciprocity's Underrated Role in Influencing Behavior
Do you want to know a simple Persuasion Technique that can make almost anyone feel like they "owe" you something? Think of the implications for every situation when you need to influence someone, whether it be a sales call, a sales letter (yes, you can do it in writing too), a negotiation, business discussions, or anything else.
There is a straightforward method for instilling this sense of responsibility in another person. You make it happen by acting on the concept of mutual benefit. In other words, if you give something to another person, they will nearly always feel compelled to return the favor. People are more likely to help the person who treated them poorly in tests when one person treated them well and the other person treated them poorly but provided them something (for example, offered them a Coke). One of the most effective forms of influence is the principle of reciprocity.
Don't give up just yet if the concept of reciprocity is already familiar to you; I'll be offering a rather novel take on it shortly.
Giving something tangible to another person is probably the first thing that comes to mind when you consider the concept of reciprocity. This "thing" could be anything from a present to a meal or a drink. This is problematic because existing ethics guidelines may forbid the giving of gifts in corporate settings (this is unquestionably the case with government contracts). If you give someone a physical gift, they may feel obligated to repay the favor, which can be uncomfortable in both personal and professional settings. Have there been Christmases when you received a gift but couldn't afford to repay the favor? In no time at all, you'll be slipping out of the house to scurry to the mall or the attic in search of unopened presents. Inappropriate use of the principle of reciprocity can undermine its persuasive power.
Putting forth effort on someone else's behalf is another technique to motivate them to return the favor. My wife and I recently went on a trip, and while we were away, our neighbors kind of picked up our newspapers and held them for us. That was a really thoughtful gesture. They saw the car in the driveway not long after we got back, so they brought the papers over. My wife and I glanced at one another when our neighbors left and stated almost simultaneously, "We need to do something to thank them." Within the next five minutes, I was at my neighbor's door, offering a bottle of wine as thanks.
The problem with doing something for someone is that it isn't always possible to utilize this persuasion approach, either because of time limits, other considerations, or a lack of willingness on your part.
One persuasive strategy based on the principle of reciprocity is the exchange of knowledge. One popular method is to provide the other with knowledge they do not already possess but will appreciate hearing. When conducting sales calls as a marketer, I always tried to bring along material that the potential client could use. When I was working in advertising, for instance, I frequently provided upfront suggestions for improving the effectiveness of existing campaigns. I've also found it helpful to inform the prospect of something they don't already know, such as the purchase habits of their competitors or their customers.
An aside on ethics is necessary here. Don't spill the beans on something that shouldn't be public knowledge. This includes everything that has been told to you in confidence, is considered to be secret or proprietary by the company, or could cause harm if made public.
The reciprocal persuasion technique can also be used in another, equally cool way. Not only does it put a new spin on information exchange, but it also eliminates the need to give anything tangible. If done correctly, it will make the recipient feel obligated to "return the favor" without them even recognizing what has happened.
This secret use of the principle of reciprocity in persuasion is to reveal well-kept information. Incorporating this nuance can provide significant value to data that might otherwise appear meaningless. By doing so, you can easily make someone else want to return the favor (often unconsciously; it just kind of slips through).
A fantastic example occurs on a daily basis in any given eatery. What happens is this: After the waitress comes to take your order, she stoops, looks around conspiratorially, lowers her voice, and says, "I shouldn't be telling you this... normally I would recommend the salmon; it's one of our specialties, but today, the fish just isn't fresh; I'd recommend the Swordfish or the Ahi instead. Swordfish and Ahi are underrated since they provide more food for the dollar. Can you guess the final course? It has been proven through studies that the waitress receives a larger tip.
The second kind of secret involves revealing information about the revealer. This is a sort of generosity that may prompt the recipient to reciprocate by opening up to you or providing some other form of assistance. One possible line of conversation is, "Let me share with you something about myself that I've only told a few other people." Secrets are a powerful tool for persuasion since they can be used in a variety of settings, including sales, negotiations, and other forms of influence.
Little-known, exclusive, insider information is the third type of secret you could reveal. The need to know something "secret" and to feel part of something "exclusive" drives human curiosity. You can swiftly arouse the desire for reciprocity by offering exclusive knowledge that you can legally and morally share and that is relevant to the person you're attempting to persuade. The cool thing is that it doesn't have to be extraordinarily large or well-known in order to be valuable. Indicate to the other person that the data being shared is private. Say something like, "I want to share something with you I just found out; only a few people know about this, and it will only be shared with a handful of people... (offer the information)."
Before we part ways, I'd like to provide a few quick pointers on how to effectively employ the persuasion tactic of reciprocity. The first rule for inducing it in a conversation is to do so as soon as possible. One of the first steps in any conversation should be to lessen resistance through reciprocity.
Second, make sure your proposal isn't overly costly. It's possible that offering an extremely valuable item or piece of information will be seen as a bribe rather than a gesture of goodwill.
I highly recommend Kevin Hogan's "Science of Influence" Course if you want to learn more about the reciprocal persuasion approach and other persuasion and influence techniques. Visit http://www.persuasiontoolbox.com for more information on the topic.
For now, I must adjourn! I have a long phone conversation (oh boy) ahead of me. Use the secret weapon of reciprocity to bolster your persuading skills. You won't believe how much better than projected the outcomes are.
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